Roger the Red-Headed Rooster

Christmas Morning. 4:00 am.

We can all be pretty reactive beings.  When I look at how I react to different situations, I usually find both good and bad first instincts.  And I try to see where I’ve gone wrong in certain instances and give myself a nice fist bump when I’ve done well.

Right now, I’m not in my usual setting.  I happen to be staying in a home that we rented on Homeaway, which will house this Christmas Day celebration beginning in a couple of hours.  This is what Mike and I do during the school year.  This is what we have chosen to undertake on a regular basis that allows us to split time between two states and be with all of our children.  And it is not easy.  Sometimes we rent a home this way, and sometimes we make the two-day trip with our camper and stay in an RV park near our Alexander kiddos which live in Florida.  I am grateful that our professions allow us to do this, to work from anywhere, and to spend longer periods away from our Austin home. 

And with this decision also comes NOT being surrounded by all of the things that make life easy.  Oh yes, I usually have my very well-equipped kitchen and numerous bathrooms for guests and favorite grocery stores and good WiFi and rooms where everyone has their own space.  And all of that is good for the soul.  But it’s also good to be stretched.  To be asked to make the best of your current situation because it just ain’t about me. 

Sometimes my first reaction is a good one, and sometimes I must step back from my selfishness and adjust my attitude.  Two days ago, I surprised even myself by my first reaction to a situation which presented itself.  

We’ve got nine people staying in this house, with another two that spend the days here, but sleep in a nearby hotel at night...and another 3 or so joining us today. So therefore, Mike and I have been cooking for at least eleven people for each meal and have at least eleven people with different ideas of what they want to do with the day and eat for those meals. 

Two days ago, we all decided to divide and conquer, so that meant that Mike and his father took the kids to Adventure Land so they could wear themselves out with go-cart racing, laser tag, putt-putt golf and way too many arcade games.  And the lady folk went shopping to finish gift purchases, buy shirts for the child who didn’t pack any shirts whatsoever, and buy groceries for our extensive menu plans.  And this meant visiting both Costco and Walmart on December 23rd.  Not recommended, by the way.  And I had to will myself to be patient with everyone around me and also with myself.  Because if you would have asked me where I wanted to go, my answer NEVER would have been these two particular stores. 

So, we made the trip to Walmart and I dropped my sister- and mother-in-law off at the front of the store, because it was VERY apparent that the entire parking lot was full and that I would need to circle to find a parking spot.  I was prepared for this.  I wasn’t on a set schedule, I had chill indie-folk music playing and began to peruse each aisle, patiently waiting for someone to walk to their car.  I did this for several minutes.  Finally, I found someone who seemed to be focused on my present aisle.  They didn’t walk ALL the way down one and then move through the cars to another aisle at the last moment.  You KNOW that pisses me off.  Nah, they stayed on my aisle, so I waited for them to reach their vehicle, load the back of their trunk with their purchases and finally start up their engine.  

Truth be told, all was really well at this point.  I had already stopped by their spot, had my blinker on, and there wasn’t another moving vehicle in the aisle….until the very last second when I saw another Searcher round the corner of the aisle in front of me.  At that point his timing was beautiful.  He approached the car which was backing up, never had to apply the brakes and moved gently and swiftly into the spot, as I waited for the Leaver’s car to pass me.  Oh, my LORD!  Really? 

And what was my first reaction?  Well, I’m not proud of it and if anyone was actually passing by at the moment, I apologize to you.  Um…I actually beat my hands on the driver’s side window and called him a M@ther F@cker!  Yep.  I did that.  It wasn’t a surprise that I cursed at another driver while alone driving in my car.  I do this regularly.  But I have NEVER beat on a window. 

What the hell? 

At that moment, the Searcher (who didn’t even see my reaction) put his car in reverse and started to back up out of the spot which was clearly spoken for.  I couldn’t believe it!  Yep, he TOO had a bad first decision and decided to let the Christmas spirit move him.  I was relieved and elated, really.  Unfortunately, I would have been ashamed at myself whether or not he had chosen to back out of my space.  The damage was already done.  But at least I was aware of my selfishness and initial aggression.  I spent the rest of the shopping visit wondering if I was passing the Searcher in Walmart as I pushed my cart down the over-crowded aisles.  It was easy to keep my frustration in check, because I didn’t want to be the Rager which had presented herself a few minutes before.  And I found it difficult to make eye contact with my fellow shoppers.

So that was the Christmas spirit, revealed to me in real time.  Perhaps not what I would have chosen.  But there nonetheless.

We choose how we see things.  The facts of the situation may be exact, but we have absolute choice in what we notice and what we take away from each experience. 

That instance taught me that indie-folk playing in the background wasn’t going to determine my chillacity.  I had to make in inward change regarding the day, or I was going to pay for it….and change the day for everyone around me.

My behavior surprised me, and I decided to let that lesson stick with me in a lasting way.

So yesterday morning, I made an early trip to Dollar General just down the road.  At this point, they already recognize me, because I had been there at least three times to buy specific tools that were missing from this kitchen which is clearly not intended to produce home cooked meals.  There’s already been purchases of baking sheets, a Dutch oven, cheese grater, spatula, large pasta pot…and that’s just the items I remember at this moment.  Anyway, this time I needed children’s Ibuprofen for my step-daughter who woke up with fever and a sore throat.  Keep in mind, I was still willing my Christmas spirit, ya’ll.  I had not forgotten that my annoyance of yesterday led me down a dark path.  So, I pulled up to the store, got out of my car, and met up with a rooster at the entrance to the store.  (Did you miss that?  A rooster.)  But I’m telling you, if I would have been in my normal reactive state, I would have missed this experience entirely, whisking right past him without a thought.  

I was already focused on my mission, and needed to get the medicine back home to my daughter.  But instead, I was riddled with curiosity.  Who was this little being?  Why was he here?  "I wonder what he has to say to me."  I even got down to his level, talked to him awhile and found that he was incredibly tame and sweet, really.  After greeting me, he continued to greet others that walked by.  All he was missing was a Salvation Army Bell and a bucket for donations.  Right?  Aren’t the Salvation Army volunteers REALLY there for two reasons?  To receive donations and to remind us all not to be dicks at Christmas time?

Well, that’s who the rooster was to me, anyway.  He rang his bell both loud and clear.

Not only was he there at that initial daily visit.  But he was still there waiting for me when I went BACK to the store ten minutes later, after I forgot the ONE bag which carried the Ibuprofen.  And I was grateful for his presence yet again.

I shared my rooster story with my family once I returned home.  And we all smiled.  Two hours later, my father-in-law made yet another journey to the Dollar General for more milk.  When he returned, he told us that he had more information about the Volunteer Rooster.

His name is Roger.  He used to be the pet of one of the Dollar General employees who worked there and would patiently wait outside for her shift to end.  She doesn’t work there anymore, but he still comes every day. 

Hmmm….why?  For me?  For my father-in-law who was willing to make the 3rd trip to that store by 9 am?  Maybe.  It is doubtful that he was there for his own personal gratification.  Just sayin'

Thank you, Roger.  You changed our day.  You remind us that being selfish takes us away from appreciating each moment.  You remind me that when my first reaction aligns with my best self, I usually feel peaceful and present.

Search for the moments of wonder and laughter that surround us all.  Little instances that would usually go unnoticed that remind us that there are more important things than what we seem to focus on at the moment.  It may not be Baby Jesus or Rudolf this morning.  It may be Roger the Rooster.  If he had been one more inflatable Santa or wooden nativity scene, I wouldn't have stopped that day.  And I wouldn't have known of his story, which affects each passerby.  He waits there daily.  I would guess that most don't notice him.  Perhaps if they are regulars they even expect him to be there, and it isn't unusual to make this daily acquaintance.

But he surprised me.  He helped redirect my energies and notice that this all just ain't about what I need to cook and whether or not I find what I need inside. If I keep my head down, I may miss the point of the experience.  What I needed was given to me before I even walked through that door.

I don’t know if Dollar General is open today, but if a trip needs to be made to the store, I will gladly volunteer.  I may see Roger and have another conversation with him.  Who knows what I’ll learn this time around?

Merry Clucking Christmas, ya’ll!